Real Love

I've been doing a lot of thinking. There's been so much talk about "love" and what it means to love a person. Forgive me if much of what I'm about to say is random...this is a blog, not an English paper. This is also going to be controversial. It's late, and I feel like speaking my mind.

Sometimes, actually MOST of the time, I believe that Christians do not love people the way we are supposed to. We are all guilty of this...no matter which denomination you are under, if you are non-denominational, whatever. We, as Christians, are too judgmental. About a month ago, one of my brother's friends was killed in an incredibly tragic accident. You may have heard about it, he was hit by 3 cars while trying to cross 169 on foot. I never expected an event to affect me in such a profound way as this has. This event was, of course, awful. Thank God this boy knew Jesus. Here's where the controversy comes in: the boy was :::gasp::: gay.

So what does this mean? This is a question I grappled over for days and weeks following the death. For those of you who don't know (and I am being completely open and honest here), my brother thinks he is gay. My personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong. Anything that is so blatently stated in the Bible as being wrong is, well, wrong. Do I still love my brother? Absolutely. Do I love his lifestyle choice? Absolutely not. Do I think gay people who love Christ and are searching for the TRUTH just like the rest of us are going to hell? ... I honestly don't think so.

What was the purpose of Christ dying for our sins if not to save us from ourselves and our sinful nature? I allowed myself to overeat during an extremely depressing time of my life. As a result, I gained 30 + pounds. Gluttony=sin. I have been drunk. I have lusted. I've lied. I've cheated. WE ALL SIN. We all engage in sin willingly. I will NEVER support my brother's decision to live a homosexual lifestyle. But does God still love Him? Of course. I would be a liar if I said I repented after every sin.

I attended this boy's funeral a couple of weeks ago. It truly was tragic. He was 14. He, like my brother, had suffered depression in the past. People and other students who loved him were kind enough to show him that God loved him. As a result of that, this boy was involved in a local church and actually assisted with their multimedia program. He was shown God's love and he loved God.

A couple of days after the funeral, I was driving in my car with the windows down in a very somber mood. My iPod was on shuffle and some song by The Shins came on...The Shins always make me happy. It felt like God was giving me a hug, telling me it was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay...with me, with my brother, with life. After all, God brought me through the hardest time of my life, he would bring me and my brother through this. I often have many questions for God. "Why our family? Why my brother? Why does he feel this way?"
In that moment though, I felt very convicted. A boy who had been close to my brother was gone, and I had made no effort to get to know this boy because he had been gay. How awful and hypocritical. How very "Christian" of me. Typical of many Christians, actually. My heart was full and aching for the loss of this child. I've never felt so broken over a death. I should have loved him more.

That's all we can do, as Christians, you know, is love one another. Not all of us are called to be preachers and teachers, but we are all called to love. The most influence we can ever have on a person and the best witness we can have is to just love people. No matter what. I realize many of you will disagree with me and think that I am being too tolerant. What I have to say to you people is that none of you know what it is like until you are in this kind of situation.

Previous controversy aside, thinking about loving one another got me to thinking about other aspects of my life where loving others is lacking. Loving someone means not talking negatively about them, no matter what the wrong. Loving someone can mean saying no. Loving someone means calling them once in awhile, praying for someone, sitting in silence and being in their presence, being there for them during a difficult time, not preaching at someone when you want to. Loving someone means being honest.

Basically it all comes down to LOVE. Not being "holier than thou" or feeling superior because you are so free from sin and someone else is not. Love is love no matter the circumstances. Believe what you believe. But love people, no matter your differences. Just love people.

Katie

In memory of J.D.G. May 18th 1994-Feb. 15th 2009.